Project 365 Day 35

My home is my ....

Budget Report, Week 1

Last Monday was when I made a public commitment to sticking to a $300 per week cash budget. I said then that I would come here every Monday and give a report on how we did. So, here is the report for the first week of Cash Monday.


We went to the bank and drew out the cash, and divided it up between us. FabGrandpa got to hold $120 and I got to hold $180. Yeah, I was the divider, and I also was the one who had to pay for more stuff, so I got more money. It's just like that around here.


We went out to breakfast 4 times (all at Cracker Barrel); we drove out to Brenda once (about a 250 mile round trip); we drove up to Sedona once (about a 325 mile round trip); we ate lunch out twice (once for Mexican food, once for gluten free pizza in Sedona); we bought groceries, cigarettes, high dollar vitamins, and ice cream and milk at the convenience store (very high dollar!!!). As you can see, we had a very good time of it.


This is NOT how we live every week, but it was our first week on this budget, and our first week in town with our friends. So, we went driving more and out to eat more than we usually do, and will probably be doing more of the same this week.

The bottom line: We have $36.80 left of our $300 this week. Week one, on budget.

Project 365 Day 34

This was my desert today. Sometimes simple is just better...

Project 365 Day 33

We drove up to Sedona through Jerome today. The scenery was beautiful, breathtaking in places. I couldn't chose just one for my Project 365 today, so here are 6 eye candies for you to enjoy:






The last one is for Alan, who manages an Ace Hardware in Georgia:

Project 365 Day 32

When life gives you lemons.....

A Need To Make Sense Out Of Nonsens

My son was stationed in England with the Air Force for 7 years. While he was there, he met and fell in love with a very lovely girl. Sarah and her daughter, Mia, who was 18 months old, moved in with my son and grandson. She was in the middle of an ugly divorce from her first husband at the time.

Two weeks after she moved in with Seth, her ex called and asked if he would have Mia for the weekend for a visit. He came to pick her up at the appropriate time, but when Sunday evening came, Mia did not return home. On Monday morning, Sarah went to the town two and a half hours away to collect her daughter. When she got there, she found out that the ex had arranged for a child custody hearing, of which Sarah was never notified. The end result of the hearing was that the ex got full custody of Mia, with no visitation rights for Sarah because she failed to appear at the hearing.

Sarah has grieved for her daughter ever since, and in hindsight, I think she may have blamed Seth for losing her. I know this sounds insane, illogical, but where a mother’s love for her child is concerned, sometimes nothing seems logical.

I have known for some time that their marriage was not a perfectly happy one. One or the other of them have called me over the years to confide in me, to ask me for advice, to just pour out their frustrations to someone who would listen. I have tried to be fair and open with both of them, sometimes even feeling more akin to Sarah’s needs than my sons simply because I understand what betrayal and the loss of a child feels like.

The summer of 2007 we worked in Pennsylvania just to be close to them because they returned to the states. We spent almost every off day with them, spending the nights at their home, cooking, playing dominoes, scrabble, watching movies, and just being with them. When our grandson, Owen, was born in September 2007, we were there as soon as we could be, helping out when Sarah had to return to the hospital with a viral infection. Owen was even named after FabGrandpa for his middle name. We were in love with Sarah and Owen, as much as in-laws could love a daughter in law.

For the last few months, Sarah has talked about going to England, because her ex contacted her, and said that now that Mia is five years old, she is asking about her mother and wants to see her. I have been supportive of her going, because I thought it would be good for her to see the child, and have some kind of relationship with her. But, my son has been telling me that Sarah was calling her ex, and making plans to go back with him. I found that hard to believe, because Sarah was telling me that she loves my son and was only talking to her ex to make arrangements to see her daughter.

So, when Sarah called me last month and asked me for a loan to buy her ticket to England, I happily sent her it to her. She assured me that she was only going to be gone for two weeks, and that they would pay me back in December.

Yesterday, my son called me. He said Sarah left on Monday, on her jet plane to England. When she did not call him to let him know that she and Owen had arrived safely, he started calling the phone numbers that were in their phone. The last phone number she called before she left turned out to be her ex. The ex answered the phone and said, “Yes, she’s here. And she’s not coming back.” Seth said he did talk to Sarah, and she said the same thing.

I have many feelings about this turn of events. One is that I have been betrayed. I feel so bad that I am the one who gave her the money to do this. Yes, if I had not sent it, she would have gotten it somewhere, somehow—but to call me, the mother of the man she left, for help in leaving him, that feels so really really wrong to me. And if I feel betrayed by this, how much so does my son feel?

I also feel so much less of a Fab grandmother and more of a Fraudulent grandmother, knowing that I had any part to play in the loss of our grandson in this way. I have spent so much time, counseling her over the phone, telling her that she needed to get some professional help, marriage counseling, grief counseling, a therapist for herself.

And almost every time I talked to her, she would tell me troubling things about my son, that I found really hard to believe, but tried to because she sounded so convincing and because I loved her so. And she would always say, “I am not a liar, this really happened.” In just those words. Why would I not believe her? Until now, when I think back over those conversations, and those I had with my son, and wonder what was true and what was not?

I really think the signs were there, and I just didn’t want to acknowledge them. For one, after I sent her the money, she stopped answering my emails and chat requests. Then, she deleted her MySpace account. And then the day before she left, she also deleted her FaceBook account. We have used those two for sharing pictures of the children for as long as I have known her. So, what am I to think now? My son said the last thing she did before she left was to have their home phone number changed. That part is really strange to me, I have no idea what to think of that.

I also can not understand a woman’s motive for reconciling a relationship with a man who treated her so cruelly as far as her child is concerned. She told me many times that her ex was controlling, and that she had no freedom at all when she was with him. That he left her with no money, no car, no phone, so that she was isolated and had no one but her child to spend time with until he came home. But now I wonder about that, too. Was there another reason why she lost custody of her daughter? But then I think, she was an excellent mother to Owen and Michael, her step-son. I am just so confused, I don’t know what to think.

I know my son is not perfect, but neither is she. They weren’t perfectly happy, but who really is? All marriages, especially in the beginning, when there is little money and new babies, can be hard to be a part of. So, please, help me make sense of this nonsense…..

El Rancho Restaurante

We all finally felt good enough today to go for a drive. After breakfast at Cracker Barrel, we decided to drive out to Brenda to look at the RV park where we have reservations for January, February, and March. It was about 95 miles west of Phoenix. We drove out I-10 to Hwy 60, and turned east into town.

(Charlie, me, Lynda, FabGrandpa)

3 Dreamers RV Park is a small place, on the edge of the desert in Brenda. I didn't take any pictures there today, I'll save that for later on. It is not a fancy place, not many amenities, but it has a space to park our trailer with full hook ups and free wi-fi, which is what we wanted. And for $200 per month it is a great deal.


On the way back, we took Hwy 60 back to Phoenix just to see the scenery and look for a Mexican restaurant for a late lunch. We found El Rancho in Wickenburg. It was a very good choice. My lips are still burning hours later!




The inside of the place was decorated with bright murals painted on the walls, and lots of sombreros and other Mexican stuff.




Lynda ordered a taco salad, which was huge and looked really delicious, but I knew I couldn't have it because it was in a flour tortilla shell.



The rest of us all ordered the #12, a pork and beef tamale with beans and rice. It had just the right amount of heat for me. I have missed real , authentic Mexican food since we left south Texas in 2005. Just look at it, it was muy bueno!

Project 365 Day 31

Yep. we were in another restaurant with art on the wall--this time it was a Mexican joint in Wickenburg, Arizona. Don't you just love it?

Project 365 Day 30

We are all still sick, but even sick people need supplies, so we went to the gas station and to Whole Foods today. The price of diesel is still coming down, as you can see from the photo above. It hasn't been that low in seems like forever, or at least since 2004. I could be wrong, and if I am I am blaming it on all the cold medicine I have taken this week. My head feels all poofy inside from it.


At Whole Foods, I had to restrain myself from taking out my camera and taking pictures of the breads. They had a whole freezer section full of gluten free goodies: breads, bagels, pies, biscuits, muffins, cupcakes, donuts...I had a hard time deciding what to get, but wound up with just a loaf of white bread and some bagels. But, then, in the fresh baked stuff, there was this:



Believe me when I tell you it was icky, sticky, gooey, fantabulously good. They called it Orange Clouds. I called it delicious~!

Project 365 Day 29

Ick, being sick is not fun! Fabgrandpa had it first, now me. And my friend Lynda has it too. We should have been out there tearing up the roads in Arizona by now, but all we can do is blow our noses and sleep. Maybe tomorrow we'll all feel better.

Project 365 Day 28

We have decided to put ourselves on a $300 per week budget for the winter. This means taking the cash out of the bank once a week, on Monday, and putting it in our pocket. Putting the debit card away, out of reach. This cash in hand has to pay for groceries, gas, cigarettes for him (yeah, I know, grrrrrr!!!), beer, going out to eat--basically whatever we want to do each week, we can do, as long as we have cash in our pocket.

We'll see how long we can do it. I think we should be able to have cash left over every week, he thinks it won't be enough. Last winter we tried to do it on $180 a week, but always fell short and had to get more money before the end of the week. So, I'll be posting every monday from now until the end of April, to say how we did each week. What do you think? Do you think we'll be able to live and have some fun on $300 per week?

Project 365 Day 27

We had planned to go exploring with Lynda and Charlie today, but when I called Lynda said Charlie was sick and didn't feel like getting off the sofa. And FabGrandpa was the same--he coughed all night long until he finally moved from the bed to the sofa. He has been feeling puny all day.

So, I was left to entertain myself. The other day when we went to Camping World, I bought a couple of spice racks. I already had one, a three tier one, but I had too many herbs and spices to keep them all in that one. So, I got out my girlie tool kit and put the new ones on the wall. The wall under the kitchen cabinets leans at a funny angle because it is in the "nose" of the trailer, so it was a little hard to get the screws started, but soon I had it all done. And now I have room to put all of my seasonings in the new spice racks. I think I did a great job!

Project 365 Day 26

Miss S. Crow

We Got Mail Today!

We normally only get mail about once a month when my step-daughter, Becky, sends it to where ever we may be. She hasn't sent it this time in over a month because I did not know how long we would be somewhere until this week.

So, I opened the bag and got a few surprises. First, the good ones. I got my yearly dividend check from the electric co-op from when I had my house. I think I'll still get those for a few more years. The check I got this year is enough to go out to eat at a really good place, like maybe Outback Steakhouse or something similar to that.

Next, I got a statement from one of the medical bills we have been paying on since 2005, when FabGrandpa was in the hospital for four days, and it turned out to be that his thyroid had quit functioning. Anyway, that one bill is paid in full, YIPEE. One down, three to go.

The last of the good ones, is that I also got a statement from the IRS, showing that I only owe them $63.00 more, so that bill will get paid off this month, too. Yay!

Then for the finale: FabGrandpa's passport arrived, but I got a letter saying that the birth certificate I sent them won't do. It is not a "certified" copy, and it does not show the date my birth was recorded. Excuse me? I ordered that certified copy from the state of Georgia, and paid good money for it. The other copy I have (I ordered two copies from the vital records department at the same time) does have the raised embossed seal on it:

However faint it might be, it IS there. And the date the birth was recorded is also right there on it:


So, it sort of looks like the date filed says 6/16/1952, which would be about three weeks after I was born, but if who ever filled out that form way back then couldn't write worth a shit, how is that my fault? I was a baby at the time!

How in the hell do they expect me to correct something that was recorded way back in 1952?!? I am going to call the vital records department on Monday to see what, if anything they can do for me, but if I don't send in another copy in 60 days, I'll lose my application fee and have to start all over again. So NOT FAIR! FabGrandpa will get to go to Mexico without me. I demand justice! I NEED that tequila, I NEED those margaritas!!!


So, to calm my nerves and get my Mexican fix, I made charro beans for dinner:



1 lb dried pinto beans
6 slices bacon

Rinse the beans, cover with water, and bring to a boil and cook for 5 minutes. Pour into a crock pot. Add the bacon, cut up, cover, and cook until the beans are tender.


6 slices bacon
3-4 cloves garlic, minced
2 stalks celery, chopped
1 medium onion, chopped
2 jalapeno peppers, seeded and chopped
1 poblano pepper, seeded and chopped
1 16 oz can diced tomatoes
1 tsp oregano
1 tablespoon cumin
salt to taste

Fry the bacon until crisp, set aside. Add the garlic, celery, onion, and peppers to the pan, and sautee in bacon grease until the onions are clear. Add the bacon, crumbled. Add all to the crock pot. Add the can of tomatoes and salt to the crock pot, stirring well to combine. Cook for one hour longer. Serve with corn bread or corn tortillas.

Trick or Treat, Smell My Feet

(Here we were in Raleigh in 1992)

It was 17 years ago tonight that FabGrandpa moved into my house, to begin our life together as him and her, or us and them, or whatever. We were moving a dresser up the front porch steps when a kid ran up and shouted Trick or Treat! And FabGrandpa said "I really don't know yet." or something like that.

We have had some fun times together----it feels like 5 minutes


Under water.

Poppa, I know you are reading this, can you believe we have made it this long? Stinky feet and all.

Project 365 Day 25

A look at some plants through kalidascope eyes at the Arboretum in Flagstaff:



The same plants as seen with out the kalidascope:

Project 365 Day 24

MMMMMM Gluten Free for me!

Wandering Lost In The Desert, But Finding Great Gluten Free Pizza Saves The Day!

I sat at my computer for at least an hour this morning mapping out our day. We were going to Mesa to the Camping World store to get a few things we needed, like a water filter for the trailer (to try to alter the taste of the Phoenix water supply, ick) and a new light fixture for over the sink. I wrote down the address of each place we wanted to go, and consulted my map program, Microsoft Trips and Streets, then wrote down the directions for how to get there. This would have all worked out if I had actually READ the directions again once we got on the road.


And, those roads didn't look like BIG roads on the map, they looked like maybe four lanes with a median in between. But, when we got up there on that 101, it looked like a major interstate highway, four lanes on each side, with construction going on and SHIT! And I was driving, and FabGrandpa was sitting over there grumping and fussing and making me all nervous... Anway, we wound up going all the way to Glendale by way of Scottsdale, which is like driving all the way around I-285 in Atlanta during rush hour. Crap!


Finally, we stopped at a gas station and called Camping World, and got found again, and he started driving and I sat over there and fumed steam out my ears. So, after driving farther than we did yesterday to get to Phoenix from Flagstaff, we arrived at Camping World and spent some more money.


As we made our way back home, we had a couple of other places we wanted to go, but since we had actually seen the road they were on before we got lost going to Camping World, we knew where we were going. Sort of. And here is where I have to tell you that Phoenix has some very cool road art on their highways. Bridge abutments, overpasses, and concrete walls display some really neat artwork: (click on the pictures to make them bigger so you can see the art)





Our destination for lunch was Picazzo's Pizza on Frank Lloyd Wright Boulevard in Scottsdale. I read about the place on the Phoenix Celiac Support Group's web page. They not only have gluten free pizza available, they have an entire 4 page gluten free menu. They even have gluten free beer on tap. And gluten free deserts! I was in gluten free heaven. The first thing I noticed, though, was the artwork on the walls. This was a classy place, too.


This mural was on the wall near our table. It made me feel like I was in a busy place, even though there weren't many customers in there at the time.



We ordered the medium Puttanesca pizza with white sauce. It had olive oil and garlic sauce, mozzarella, fresh Roma tomatoes, Kalamata olives, artichoke hearts, and feta cheese topped with fresh basil. OMG! FabGrandpa and I ate every bite!



And, FabGrandpa said he would be inclined to lick his plate if it wouldn't make him look so much like a pig. Very yum, he said. We will probably go there to eat at least once a week while we are in this town. Oh, and they have one in Sedona and one in Flagstaff, too.


Click on the picture below to see their menu:

Project 365 Day 23

After we got to Phoneix, we visited our friends at the pumpkin lot. Looks like lots of pies to me!

Gone To Phoenix

We left Flagstaff around 10:00 a.m. this morning. We had one last look at the San Franscisco Peaks from I-40 as we left town:


We got on I-17 headed south. We only had to go about 120 miles so it was a short trip.

The road had a lot of 6% mountain grades and curves. I was pinching a hole in my seat! It was quite a ride!

About half way there, we started seeing lots of cacti on the side of the road.

Then as we got close to Phoenix, there were armies of Saguara cacti, standing watch:

The mountains here look naked compared to the Kaibab Plateau: