A Trip To My Hometown

We haven't been "home" in about 18 months, so we were overdue to visit there. Last weekend, we loaded up the truck with computers, suitcase, and sandwiches, and hit the road for the 200 mile trip. 

Our first stop was at the mall, because Fabgrandpa needed a new winter jacket. He melted his old one in a commercial dryer when we were volunteering at Unicoi State Park back in 2007. He didn't need one last winter because we were in a pretty warm place, but, as we have discovered, Alabama is COLD! Oh, and let's just say that planning a quick trip to the mall two weeks before Christmas is BIG mistake.

After we got out of the mall, we drove over to Becky's hair salon to get prettied up. She is the best "hair-doer" I have ever known. We always get our hair done by her when we come to town. (Of course, she IS my daughter, and NO I am not biased in my opinion. he he he).  FabGrandpa went first.

 

Then it was my turn. Becky cut off about two inches, trimmed my bangs, and then styled my hair. I always feel like a pampered princess when I go there. 

Here we are, all dolled up, and FabGrandpa in his new mall jacket.

This is something I DON'T miss on a daily basis: lots of traffic. It was raining, too. And don't think that all this is from Christmas shopping--no, it is like this all the time in Douglasville. 

 

Remember last year when I lost that diamond?  When Becky came to visit us at the Grand Canyon, she took my rings home with her, and had them repaired, complete with a new diamond. The jeweler cleaned and shined them up, so that they look better than ever! She gave them to me when we were at the shop, and I cried like a baby. She is too good to me!

 

From the beauty shop, we drove over to visit my mother. That's her Christmas tree there, and if you look, on the shelves behind the tree is a huge collection of Santas.  We had a nice visit, then left to meet Becky and her true love for dinner.

 

That's the happy bride to be with her guy, Rafe. He is a very nice guy. We'll be proud to call him our son-in-law. The wedding won't be until February, 2011. That's still quite a ways off, but hey, I still haven't bought my mother of the bride dress. I'm still looking. 

 

We finally made to the motel, a Holiday Inn Express. The room was very nice for the money. It even had a big screen TV. But FabGrandpa spent most of his time in the room playing Left 4 Dead. He said there wasn't much on TV to watch, anyway.

 

The next morning, I got up and went back to my Mom's for breakfast. My sister came over, too, still in her pajamas. We spent a couple of hours talking girl talk while FabGrandpa slept in at the motel.  

After having breakfast with them, I went to Cracker Barrell to meet my daughter, Emily and niece, Nikki for another breakfast.  I had not ever met Nikki before, well, except for when she was a tiny baby. My sister "found" her on Myspace a couple of years ago. I have not been in town when she was since then, so we arranged to meet last weekend. It was nice to meet her. She is a gorgeous girl, and smart too, just like my daughters. She spent 6 years in the Air Force and is now in school to be a medical technician. I didn't get a picture, though, I was so busy talking I just forgot!

After the second breakfast (yeah, no wonder I am so fat! But, honestly, I only ate a little bit at both of them), Emily and I went fabric shopping. I spent a LOT of money, but I had specific projects in mind, and still didn't get everything I needed. Yes, yet another fabric trip is in the planning. 

Emily and I decided we did not want to do any other shopping after the fabric store, so we went to her house and just hung out. My grandson, Spencer, thanked me again for his quilt. He is so cute, don't you think?

I made this bag for Emily and gave it to her while I was at her house. She loved it!

 

 It is big enough for her teacher self to tote books and papers and pencils and stuff. I made a matching zippered pouch to go with, which of course I have no picture of.

 

There's Spencer again, trying to figure out how to take my picture.

 

And Emily's Christmas tree, in her living room with her new floors. I love it! She has redone the entire house since I was there the last time. I

 

We left Emily's house and met up with FabGrandpa and Becky at Longhorn Steakhouse, one of our favorite places to eat. I had a salad, no croutons, no dressing, a ribeye medium rare, and a baked sweet potato. No gluten anywhere, and it was delish! There's FabGrandpa with Emily.

 

 And me with Becky
 

And me with my dinner date, Spencer. Spencer's Dad was there too, but he does not want me to show his face, so I won't.  We had such a busy weekend, but it was fun, and we'll do it again, soon.

Becky and the Parents, Day Four: The Grand Canyon

After our whirlwind trip around southern Utah and northern Arizona, we were back home at the North Rim of the Grand Canyon. We took Becky on a tour of  Cape Royal and Point Imperial. We stopped on the way up to Cape Royal and took a short hike over to Greenland Lake. The lake was dried up this late in the season, but the hike was still gorgeous!

 

 

Becky on the trail to Greenland Lake

 

That's the lake, all dried up this late.

The next stop was Cape Royal, at Wedding Point. There are Becky and FabGrandpa near the edge. The day was very windy but sunny and nice. 

 

The view from Wedding Point.

 

Looking over the edge--it's a long way down there!

 

Gorgeous, as usual!

 

 

Walhalla Overlook--that light brown crescent near the center of this photo is the Colorado River.

 

  

This is Mount Hayden, at Point Imperial. 

 

Another view from Point Imperial

 

That night we had reservations for dinner at the restaurant at the lodge. The view from there at sunset is awesome!

 

This view is from the veranda at the rear of the lodge, at sunset. Oooooooo, Ahhhhhhh, awesome!

 

That was our last night with Becky. She left the next day around noon, headed for Las Vegas to spend the night before returning to Atlanta.  We all shed tears as we said our good byes. We really enjoyed our visit, and all the sights we saw.   

Another New Blogger Getting The FabGrandma Bump!

My daughter-in-law has started her own blog now, too. I am glad to see her get into this, as it will give me another way to get to know her better. (and see some pics of those two boys!)

Owen's Mommy is the name of her game. Y'all go on over there and give her some bloggy love now, OK?

Oh, and I have to tell you, she took that photo of the sunflowers in her header. I am soooooo jealous that she actually saw that, AND that she got such a great photo of the experience. Ask her about it. Maybe she will blog about the day she was there.

Homecoming

Remember this? I thought I would never see or hear from them again. But, they came home yesterday. And it looks like they are happy to be here. I don't know what happened, I have not talked to her, yet. I may never know, and to honest, I don't think I want to know. I am just happy they are back. My heart is exploding with joy.

A Need To Make Sense Out Of Nonsens

My son was stationed in England with the Air Force for 7 years. While he was there, he met and fell in love with a very lovely girl. Sarah and her daughter, Mia, who was 18 months old, moved in with my son and grandson. She was in the middle of an ugly divorce from her first husband at the time.

Two weeks after she moved in with Seth, her ex called and asked if he would have Mia for the weekend for a visit. He came to pick her up at the appropriate time, but when Sunday evening came, Mia did not return home. On Monday morning, Sarah went to the town two and a half hours away to collect her daughter. When she got there, she found out that the ex had arranged for a child custody hearing, of which Sarah was never notified. The end result of the hearing was that the ex got full custody of Mia, with no visitation rights for Sarah because she failed to appear at the hearing.

Sarah has grieved for her daughter ever since, and in hindsight, I think she may have blamed Seth for losing her. I know this sounds insane, illogical, but where a mother’s love for her child is concerned, sometimes nothing seems logical.

I have known for some time that their marriage was not a perfectly happy one. One or the other of them have called me over the years to confide in me, to ask me for advice, to just pour out their frustrations to someone who would listen. I have tried to be fair and open with both of them, sometimes even feeling more akin to Sarah’s needs than my sons simply because I understand what betrayal and the loss of a child feels like.

The summer of 2007 we worked in Pennsylvania just to be close to them because they returned to the states. We spent almost every off day with them, spending the nights at their home, cooking, playing dominoes, scrabble, watching movies, and just being with them. When our grandson, Owen, was born in September 2007, we were there as soon as we could be, helping out when Sarah had to return to the hospital with a viral infection. Owen was even named after FabGrandpa for his middle name. We were in love with Sarah and Owen, as much as in-laws could love a daughter in law.

For the last few months, Sarah has talked about going to England, because her ex contacted her, and said that now that Mia is five years old, she is asking about her mother and wants to see her. I have been supportive of her going, because I thought it would be good for her to see the child, and have some kind of relationship with her. But, my son has been telling me that Sarah was calling her ex, and making plans to go back with him. I found that hard to believe, because Sarah was telling me that she loves my son and was only talking to her ex to make arrangements to see her daughter.

So, when Sarah called me last month and asked me for a loan to buy her ticket to England, I happily sent her it to her. She assured me that she was only going to be gone for two weeks, and that they would pay me back in December.

Yesterday, my son called me. He said Sarah left on Monday, on her jet plane to England. When she did not call him to let him know that she and Owen had arrived safely, he started calling the phone numbers that were in their phone. The last phone number she called before she left turned out to be her ex. The ex answered the phone and said, “Yes, she’s here. And she’s not coming back.” Seth said he did talk to Sarah, and she said the same thing.

I have many feelings about this turn of events. One is that I have been betrayed. I feel so bad that I am the one who gave her the money to do this. Yes, if I had not sent it, she would have gotten it somewhere, somehow—but to call me, the mother of the man she left, for help in leaving him, that feels so really really wrong to me. And if I feel betrayed by this, how much so does my son feel?

I also feel so much less of a Fab grandmother and more of a Fraudulent grandmother, knowing that I had any part to play in the loss of our grandson in this way. I have spent so much time, counseling her over the phone, telling her that she needed to get some professional help, marriage counseling, grief counseling, a therapist for herself.

And almost every time I talked to her, she would tell me troubling things about my son, that I found really hard to believe, but tried to because she sounded so convincing and because I loved her so. And she would always say, “I am not a liar, this really happened.” In just those words. Why would I not believe her? Until now, when I think back over those conversations, and those I had with my son, and wonder what was true and what was not?

I really think the signs were there, and I just didn’t want to acknowledge them. For one, after I sent her the money, she stopped answering my emails and chat requests. Then, she deleted her MySpace account. And then the day before she left, she also deleted her FaceBook account. We have used those two for sharing pictures of the children for as long as I have known her. So, what am I to think now? My son said the last thing she did before she left was to have their home phone number changed. That part is really strange to me, I have no idea what to think of that.

I also can not understand a woman’s motive for reconciling a relationship with a man who treated her so cruelly as far as her child is concerned. She told me many times that her ex was controlling, and that she had no freedom at all when she was with him. That he left her with no money, no car, no phone, so that she was isolated and had no one but her child to spend time with until he came home. But now I wonder about that, too. Was there another reason why she lost custody of her daughter? But then I think, she was an excellent mother to Owen and Michael, her step-son. I am just so confused, I don’t know what to think.

I know my son is not perfect, but neither is she. They weren’t perfectly happy, but who really is? All marriages, especially in the beginning, when there is little money and new babies, can be hard to be a part of. So, please, help me make sense of this nonsense…..

Blah Blah Blah

The View from my Window.

It is hard to believe that we have been here at Unicoi for a month now. When we left Virginia, I was looking forward to having some time to get some things done. I wanted to finish Becky’s quilt and start quilting Rebecca’s, but I have not had time to put even one stitch in either one of them. I wanted to go to Jim’s mothers and have her give me some more lessons on wire-wrap jewelry making. I wanted to be able to take some photos every day. So far, I haven’t accomplished any of that. I’m beginning to think that we need to go back to Virginia so we can rest a bit.

Let’s see, in the last month there was Thanksgiving, Jim’s Dad in the hospital, the trip to Douglasville to get haircuts and visit my Mom and our daughters, buying the new trailer, moving from the old one to the new one, going to Gainesville for eyeglasses, working our volunteer hours, and on and on. I hope the next month will be a little calmer. My plan now is to be able to have some time to sort through all the junk I “found” when we moved, and get rid of some of it. I was truly embarrassed at how much stuff I have accumulated in the six years we lived in that little trailer.

In other news, I heard from my granddaughter Sarah’s mother, my ex-daughter-in-law (EDIL). She gave birth to a new baby girl (with her new husband) in Tacoma, Washington. She says Sarah is tickled to have a baby sister. She is making all A’s in school (I’m not surprised at that) and has made some new friends since they moved up there. They are going to Tennessee for a few days to have the baby dedicated at their church there and to have Sarah baptized. I am glad that my EDIL is happy.

I also heard from my new daughter-in-law, Sarah. We call her Sarah England, because it is so confusing to have Sarah the granddaughter and Sarah the new daughter-in-law. Sarah England and Seth, my son, are coming to the states in January. Well, at least Seth and Michael are coming, and Sarah is in the process of getting her visa. She may have to stay in England a month or six until it comes through, but they are working on it and have a “B” plan, in case have to be apart for a few months. Seth will be stationed in Maryland at Andrews AFB, just a little hop from Urbanna. Jim and I are looking forward to spending some time with them this coming summer.

Oh, and Rebecca called to tell me she is going to move in with “Not My Boyfriend, Joe”. He has been her “friend” for several years, and has just bought a new condo. She is going to be his room-mate. She will be paying the same rent she pays now for her tiny walk-up apartment in Ghent, and will have a lot more room. She also said that he will buy the groceries and she will do the cooking for them. She is a pretty good cook, and she has been cooking for him for several years, but at least now he will be paying for the groceries.

Becky, our other daughter, has almost the same arrangement with her room-mate, Scott. He has been her friend since high school. When she bought her condo in Atlanta, he moved in with her as her roomie.

Emily told me that she moved Spencer from the Lutheran kindergarten she had in because the pastor there washed his mouth out with soap. Can you believe that? She said while Spencer was going there, he stayed in trouble all the time. The teachers and the principal of that school said he started fights with other children, pinched them, bit them, tried to take toys away from them, and said bad words. Then, when Emily was there as the “room Mom” for the Halloween party, she observed that Spencer was laying on the floor playing with a truck when another child came up and tried to take it away from him. When Spencer said, “No, I was playing with it first”, the teacher said, “Spencer, stop that!” Emily said it was like the teacher automatically assumed that Spencer was the bad child, even though she was sitting right there and saw the other child come and start the little dispute. Spencer has been at the new school for two weeks and has not been in trouble one time. The teachers there say they don’t see any of the problems Emily told them about at the other school. Hmmm...

I guess that is all the news I have for the moment. What’s up with “all y’all”? Feel free to post comments…

Seth and Sarah Got Married

My son, Seth and his girlfriend, Sarah, got married on Friday, October 20 in England. My grandson, Michael was there at the ceremony, too. They have been planning this for some time. They had several of their friends there with them. They want to have another wedding cermony next year on the beach so all of our family can be there to celebrate with them.

I have not met Sarah yet, but she does seem to be an intelligent, loving woman. She is a good match for Seth, and is very good to my grandson. Michael likes her a lot and told me he was excited to have her as his new mother. They will be coming to the states in January to live in Maryland near Andrews Air Force Base, where Seth will be stationed next.

We are so happy he is coming home, he has been gone to England for six years. Michael has grown up there. Although he has been in England since he was four years old, he does not have a British accent at all, but he does speak with some very British sounding phrases. One day when I was talking to him on the phone I told him I had a crab cake sandwich for breakfast. He asked me if that was something like fish and chips!