Oral Cancer Revisited

You know, when we have our children, we as parents always have dreams for them, that they would accomplish great things, that they would be successful, and that they would follow in our footsteps.  Today, I would give anything if my youngest daughter, Emily, was not following in mine.  You see, her husband, my Fab Son-in-law, was diagnosed with squamous cell carcinoma of the larynx last week. 

Right now, they are trying to be very optimistic, hoping for the best, while preparing for the worst. The only thing is, we don't know exactly what the worst can be. I do know that FabGrandpa and I will be able to guide them to some extent, to show them the road, to help them along the way. As I told her, "unfortunately" they have someone who has gone before them, to give them advice and to listen to their fears. While FabGrandpa and I had each other, and an online support group, Emily and her husband will have us, and I hope we will be able to help them in whatever way we can.  

Fab S-I-L is a surgery scheduler at a hospital in Atlanta. Right before Christmas, he lost his voice, so he went to the doctor to have it checked out. That doctor said he had a polyp in his throat, and scheduled surgery to remove it. When he got in there, he discovered that the mass was not what he thought it was, and just did a biopsy instead.  He was referred to a specialist at Emory University Hospital, who did a thorough exam, including a CAT scan. He is going to do another biopsy next week. We are hoping for good news. 

So, I am here to nudge you all, again, to get an exam for oral cancer at the very next opportunity--it is painless, doesn't take much time, and can save your life. Please, just do it!

Pet Peeve Of The Week

 

I have had this wire shelf  for almost 10 years. We bought it in August of 2000, when we moved into our first RV. It is just the right size to hold a box of quart sized zip lock bags, a box of gallon sized zip lock bags, a roll of plastic wrap, and a roll of aluminum foil. Well, at least it was until the last time I bought a box of the quart sized bags.

I usually leave the empty box in the shelf as a space holder so the rest of boxes don't fall over, until I can get a new box of whatever I am out of. So, when I brought home the last new box of quart sized bags, it wouldn't fit. The manufacturer had changed the size of the box. I had to take the new bags out and put them in the old box that I just happened to have kept, because it is my habit to do so. 

I am so pissed that they did that. Why do manufacturers think they have to keep changing things?

So, what is your pet peeve this week?

Where Does The Time Go?

I'm sitting here tonight, wondering how in the world it got to be October 6th already, and thinking I only have 18 days before we leave the North Rim to go to Alabama. I am psyched for traveling again, and really glad that I'll be in a place where I'll see water every day. I am happy that I will see my daughters and my grandson again soon. But on the same token, I am saddened that I will be leaving a place I love so much. Saddened that there aren't enough days to spend with friends before we go. Lonely for them already and we aren't even gone yet. 

And as I think about that, I also wonder how I got to be fifty-seven years old so fast. Where did all THAT time go. I think about the people back home in Georgia, the related ones, of course, but more often the chosen ones. People who have been my friends for years, who still love me, no matter what flaws I may have.  Amazed at how many of them I have found on Facebook, and who want to get together with me for lunch or coffee, or whatever, when I get back to town this winter. And overjoyed that I found one in particular just recently, who I have known since the 8th grade. Knowing that she was my best friend for many years, and that I have known her for more than 40, and happy that I may see her again soon.

And that kind of thinking always leads me to think of my mother. My relationship with my mother has always been shakey--I have never felt like I have accomplished quite what she wanted me to, or that she has ever approved of anything I have done. Lord knows I have tried.  But at 57, I have tried to let all that go, and just love her, no matter what, in the hope that she would do the same. Sometimes that is hard to do. Sometimes I cringe when I see her phone number in the caller ID, and sometimes I don't answer when I know it is her. Sometimes I do, hoping she will be the sweet mother I always hoped she would be. Too often, though, it's not. And I know I can't change that.  I really do try to be patient with her. She misses me--my sister tells me that she does. It's just hard to believe that when every time she calls me she loses her temper with me--whether it is something I say, or, a lot of the time, whether it is something I DON'T say. 

We have very different opinions about a lot of things, from politics to religion, and back again. Most of the time she rants on rather loudly about whatever it is that has gotten her ire up, and I just listen until she calms down. More and more often, though, if I keep my mouth shut and bite my tongue in an attempt to NOT make her mad, that just makes her mad. And I have told her over and over again, that just because we have different opinions, it doesn't mean I don't love her.  That maybe we should agree to  not discuss religion or politics, and just talk about family, and my life and her life. And forget about the rest.

Our most recent telephone conversation ended with her calling me some ugly names, and hanging up on me. And I cried like I was eight years old again. I wish I could figure out why this happens. My sister says it is because she misses me. And that she wishes I would call her more often.  And I might agree, that that is the case. But who wants to call when they know what the result will be?

I know there will come a time when I will wish that every time the phone rang it would be my mother. She is almost 82 years old, and I know how lucky I am to have had her in my life for as long as I have. I just wish she would feel lucky to have me, even if I am 2,000 miles away. Mama, do you know I love you???? do you know that you did a great job raising me? do you know that even if I didn't accomplish what you dreamed for me, that I have achieved my dreams for myself? do you know that I am lonely for you, too?

Trick or Treat, Smell My Feet

(Here we were in Raleigh in 1992)

It was 17 years ago tonight that FabGrandpa moved into my house, to begin our life together as him and her, or us and them, or whatever. We were moving a dresser up the front porch steps when a kid ran up and shouted Trick or Treat! And FabGrandpa said "I really don't know yet." or something like that.

We have had some fun times together----it feels like 5 minutes


Under water.

Poppa, I know you are reading this, can you believe we have made it this long? Stinky feet and all.

Good News All Around

Thursday, October 11, 2007
(I don't know why the date is wrong on this post,hmmm...)

Jim with Owen

In 2001 when Jim was diagnosed with squamous cell carcinoma of the tongue, we were both devastated, overwhelmed, terrified of what the future would bring. We sat for days in a daze, just looking at each other and crying, because we did not know what to expect. I spent a lot of hours on the internet, searching for information, anything that would tell us that his diagnosis was not a death sentence. 

That experience brought us closer together, and helped us decide what we really wanted out of our life together. That is, we found out that we really like being together, and enjoy each other’s company, and that no matter where we go or what we do as long as we can be together, we will be happy.

Along with all the other things we have done in the six years since his victory over SCC, we have continued to educate ourselves about the survival and recurrence rates of that cancer, and to celebrate each day we have on earth together. So, when Jim noticed a little spot on his cheek a few months ago, it was not quite as earth shattering as it was in 2001. Yes, we were concerned, but not afraid.

We signed him up for Veterans Administration medical benefits, so that he could be examined by a dermatologist. I had been asking him (well, ok, badgering him) to fill out the paperwork for VA for a about 5 years, but it took a little spat with him for him to understand just how important it was to me that he do it. So, in July he had his initial exam at the VA Medical Clinic in Hagerstown, Maryland.

 

They looked into every opening (and prodded into one in particular,(hahaha) and pronounced him healthy except for slightly elevated cholesterol, a low TSH level, and that pesky little spot in his cheek. They told him he needed to eat a diet low in cholesterol, but did not prescribe any medication for that. They changed his thyroid meds to a lower dose. And they made an appointment for him to see a dermatologist at the Veterans Medical Center in Washington, D.C.

 

Two weeks ago, we went for a biopsy of “the bump”, as Jim was affectionately calling it. Tuesday, we went back for the results of that biopsy. Dr. Cohen, the very nice doctor who is head of dermatology at that hospital, came in and told us it was Basal Cell Carcinoma, a type of skin cancer. He said there are three kinds of skin cancer: Basal Cell, Squamous Cell, and Melanoma. He said if you have to have skin cancer, then Basal Cell is the one you want to have. He said it was probably caused by exposure to the sun and by exposure to the radiation treatments Jim had in 2001 to treat the first cancer, the Squamous Cell one. 

So, while we were there on Tuesday, they did surgery right there in the doctor’s office to cut out the tumor. When they did the biopsy the week before, I stayed in the room and watched, but this time I chose to go to the waiting room out in the lobby. The incision turned out to be quite large, but they got all of the tumor out, and sewed him up. They put four stitches inside, and nine stitches outside. A band-aid to cover it up, and an antibiotic ointment to apply three times a day, and that was it. We go back next week to get the stitches out.

I am amazed at how well Jim is taking this. He said it doesn’t hurt at all, even three days later. He is very glad that all he has to do this time is just the surgery. He is smiling every day, knowing that his little bump is gone.

Dr. Cohen told him that he will have to go every six months for the rest of his life for a dermatology check-up, but now that he has the VA medical, that is not a problem. He should also wear a hat or sun block when he is working outside.

So, now that I have written all this, let me just say to Jim’s Mom and Dad, yes I lied to you and told you he was fine, when he had this little bump we were a little bit worried about. But, since we did not know what it was or what the treatment would be, we just didn’t have anything to tell people. And, Jim did not want to say anything to anyone about it until he knew what was going to happen.

So, now that the bump is history, Jim will continue to go to the VA every six months for a check-up. Besides the one more trip to Washington to get the stitches out, he has to go for blood work to test his TSH for his thyroid again the last week of October, and then he will be done until April.

So, the next time he goes to the VA it will be in Arizona. We have been talking to a campground in Williams, Arizona, about a job there starting in March. The pay is pretty good, and they offer good perks and benefits, one of which is eligibility for AFLAC health insurance after 60 days. The campground is 50 minutes from the Grand Canyon, and a short drive from Sedona. I am keeping my fingers crossed that we get that job.

Also, our daughter in law, Sarah, got her PICC line taken out on Wednesday. I know she is very happy about that, and she can now just concentrate on being Mommy to Owen. He is getting cuter than ever and growing like a little weed. He is already stretching the little toes out of his one piece sleepers in size 0-3 months. He is taking 4 ounces of formula every three to four hours now, and staying awake for longer periods of time. When I talked to Sarah today, she said he was a little fussy yesterday and acted like he just didn't know what he wanted. She offered him his bottle and he didn't want it, and was not wet. I think he just wanted his FabGrandma!

The Gluten Connection

We stopped at Barnes and Noble in Frederick, Maryland yesterday while waiting for movie time. I bought this book by Shari Lieberman. She is a clinical nutritionist in private practice for more than 20 years. Although I have only read the Foreword, the Introduction, and the first chapter, I think it should be required reading for anyone who is gluten intolerant or who has been diagnosed with Celiac Disease. I wish I had found it on Amazon first, because I paid full price at B&N, $16.95 plus tax. I see Amazon has it for $11.95. Sigh.

A New And Improved Gluten-Free FabGrandma

For most of my life, I have had some, um, very embarassing problems with my gut. But, since my father and most of my siblings had the same problems, I just thought it was normal, that some people were just, um, that way. My husband and his daughter would laugh and make smart remarks about my, um, problem.

But all that has changed very dramatically for me in just a week. About two weeks ago, I received a life changing email from one of my cousins. In that email, he described his symptoms, which included diahrea, pain in his legs and back, tiredness, "brain fog", and constant hunger, just to name a few. He told about how he had been diagnosed with Crohn's disease back in November of 2006 and had been taking medication for it ever since, but getting no better. He said he finally did a google search with all of his symptoms and "allergy", and found a lot of information about Celiac disease.

Celiac disease runs in families. It is 95% heriditary. It is the most common genetic disorder in the world. It is caused by an intolerance of gluten, which is found in wheat products. It presents itself with a host of symptoms, which can range from constant diahrea to constant constipation. In children, it can cause behaviour disorders, ADHD, failure to thrive and/or failure to gain weight. In adults it can lead to other endoctrin disorders like thyroid disease, diabetes, lymphomas, and a greater risk of liver cancer, the disease that killed my father at the age of 62.

Because a lot of my cousin's problems sound like my own, I decided to try a gluten free diet for two weeks, just to see if celiac disease could be MY problem. I am writing today to let the world know, that I think it is.

I no longer have to take pain releivers every night before I go to bed because my legs don't hurt anymore. I am not hungry all the time. I am able to think better and my eyes seem to see things brighter. And I have been diahrrea free for a week. Even after eating salads, (I used to think I was allergic to lettuce), even after eating braised liver, (I used to think I was allergic to liver, which I love), even after eating eggs for breakfast (I used to think I was sensitive to eggs). All this time the culprit has been the croutons, the gravy, the toast! It is such a freedom to NOT have to be sure I am near a bathroom, the closer the better, when I decide to eat something.

I have found some pretty good gluten free products at the local grocery store. At the Rose Garden, they have an entire gluten free section. At Dunlap's one of our favorite restaurants in town, when I asked the waitress is there was any flour used in preparation of the braised liver, she told me she had some other gluten free customers so she understood my problem. Yes!

I have sent my cousin several emails thanking him for sending me the information he sent. But, just for the world to see, Thank you, Jimmy! I really appreciate it. And, um, so does Jim!