Gluten Alert!

FabGrandpa started taking the Prescripitive Formulas Men's vitamins manufactured by Nature's Bounty a couple of months ago. He is liking the added energy he says he is getting from them. I read the ingredients on the package and since they had no wheat ingredients, I ordered the Women's formula for myself.

I started taking them about a week ago. Yesterday, after feeling sick and generally "bad" all week, I finally decided to read the ingredients on this package. Silly me, the Women's Formula has wheat listed as an ingredient.

I feel bloated, my muscles and joints all ache, I have a headache, my eyes hurt, and my old friend, the big "D", is back. I don't know how long it is going to take to feel better, but I stopped taking these vitamins yesterday. Just wanted to let the gluten free worlkd know about it.

P.S. READ EVERY LABEL!!!

Gluten Free Coconut Cream Pie

Ok, so I feel like this is really cheating, because all the ingredients for making Coconut Cream Pie are naturally gluten free. You just have to make sure the corn starch you use says "gluten free" on the label.

I love coconut cream pie, but I rarely make one. There has to be just the right alignment of the stars and the moon, and it has to be a chilly winter night, for me to even consider making one. That's because you have to bake the coconut, bake the pie shell, then stir the filling over the hot stove. Do you hear me, Fabgrandpa? There is a LOT of work involved in making this pie.

First you have to get a coconut at the store. You could use packaged grated coconut, but if I am going to do this, I am going to do it RIGHT. Use an ice pick to poke holes in the "eyes" of the coconut, then pour the juice, or milk, into a bowl. Place the coconut on a baking sheet and put it in a 450 degree oven for twenty minutes. Then, using potholders, wrap the coconut in a kitchen towel, take it outside, and smash it with a hammer. You can really work out a lot of frustrations in the making of this pie. If anyone ever gives you a home made coconut pie, and tells you that they grated the coconut themselves, you might want to tip-toe away from them and sit over in the corner by your self out of their way. Know what I mean?

Ok, so you have roasted and smashed your coconut. Take a sharp knife and separate the coconut meat from the hard shell.



Once you get the hard shell off, use the knife to peel off the brown side of the meat. Then, you can grate it until you have about a cup of grated coconut.


Meanwhile, take your frozen gluten free pie crust out of the freezer and let it thaw to room temperature. At this point you can cuss up a storm because the dang thing is all broken. &*&@#$!!! Always, they are broken, so why are you surprised?

When the pie shell has thawed, put it in the oven at 350 degrees and bake for 25-40 minutes until browned. Take it out of the oven and set aside.


Now you are ready to make the filling. You'll need:


1 and 1/2 cups sugar
4 tablespoons of gluten free cornstarch
a dash of salt
1 5 oz can of evaporated milk
the coconut milk you drained out of the coconut
enough water to add to the milk and coconut milk to make 1 and 1/2 cups
3 eggs, separated
3-4 tablespoons butter or margarine
1 teaspoon of vanilla

Mix all the dry ingredients together, then put the milk, coconut milk, water and dry ingredients in a saucepan over medium heat. Cook, stirring constantly, until thickened. Beat the egg yolks. Add a small amount of the hot filling to the bowl with the egg yolks, then stir it all back into the pot. Cook and stir two minutes more. Add the butter and vanilla and coconut and stir well. Pour into the baked pie shell.


To make the meringue, you need the 3 egg whites, 1/4 cup of sugar, 1/2 tsp of cream of tartar, and a dash of salt. Put the egg whites, cream of tartar, and salt into a mixing bowl. Beat with an electric mixer until stiff. Add the sugar a little at a time until it is all mixed in. Spread the meringue on top of the filling, making little curls and stuff on top:



Put the pie on a cookie sheet and place in a 450 degree oven for 15-20 minutes until the meringue is browned:



The pie is now done. But, then you are just started in cleaning up the kitchen:
Dang it.

Just Shoot Me, Okay?

DANGER! POISON!

I should be shot. I should be punished. Oh, wait, I AM being punished. I had the idea right about Thanksgiving—don’t cook a lot of things, don’t cook anything that has wheat or gluten in it. My menu for the day was:

Roasted Chicken

Baked Sweet Potatoes

Turnip Greens with Turnips

Cornbread Dressing (no loaf bread in it, just cornbread, made with no wheat flour)

Giblet Gravy (made with tapioca flour)

So why am I having a “Wheat Hangover”? A busting, throbbing, headache, that is making my eyes hurt it hurts so bad? Because when we went to the grocery store to get the chicken, Jim found a box of cookies, made in Mexico, the ones we used to buy when we were in living in south Texas, before I stopped eating wheat, that are soooooo goooooood. Surtido Rico by Gamesa. And I ate about five of them.

Five cookies. Chocolate Sugar Wafer Cookies. They tasted so good. But they made my stomach hurt. And they made my head hurt. For two days. So if anyone sees me reaching for another cookie, just shoot me, okay?